[joke]

another joke i got thru email.
from charlotte!
quite entertaining.
sorry if u're offended though. :D

Memo to all students:
To: All Students!

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and
productivity from students, it will be our policy to keep all
students well taught through our program of SPECIAL HIGH
INTENSITY TEACHING (S.H.I.T.).

We are trying to give our students more S.H.I.T. than anyone
else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the
course, please see your lecturer. You will be immediately placed
at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our lecturers are especially
skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Students who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in
DEPARTMENTAL EDUCATIONAL EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.).

Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to
go to EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since our
lecturers took S.H.I.T. before they graduated, they don't have to
do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T. already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job
teaching others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE
LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).

For students who are intending to pursue a career in management
andconsulting, we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL
OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.). This course
emphasizes how to manage M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF
TEACHING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).

Thank you, BOSS IN GENERAL, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)

PS. Now send this S.H.I.T. to 5 or more people who need S.H.I.T. in their
life, just not the same person who sent you this S.H.I.T., they
have already had their fill of S.H.I.T. Thank You for your time.

Sincerely,
The Director Under the Michigan Bureau of Super High Intensity
Teaching. (The D.U.M.B. S.H.I.T.)

[mind juz goes rd n rd..]

didn't take the bio ct 2dae
sighx.. hafta take a retest on thur.
was dozing off during the whole of the GP paper.
couldn't even concentrate @ all..
wrote all sorta crap.

juz gt the 09 t-shirt 4rm inlora 2dae!
oh boy.. tt shirt is soo nice!
hahaas. its so 'real'
[PDG onine 2004]
[TRIPLE POTATO]
[09 deep down in our heart]
hehx. i think the 12bucks is worth it lorh.

yveie shld b in spore now.
call me gal!!!
u promised 2... but i haven received ur call yet. hmph.
i'm waiting!!

[recollection]

read ophe's blog n it made me sad once again..
too many happy memories wif the 09nians realie
nt lyk the days in sn n nj aren't tt memorable.
but it's realie once in a life-time tt a grp of ppl click so fast tgt n so well despite all the differences we haf.
lyk lil puzzles we complement each other
tgt, we form the perfect picture!
09 truly rox...
will neva ferget all those memories.

pavillion, nyp, east coast, chalet, sharing, mini skits, ktv, jogathon, physics challenge, pe lesson, use-ser lectures, mr soh's lecture, mdm ho's civics lesson, mrs leow's family, mr wee's math lesson, ms tan's physics, my les partners, the gaying n lesing ard, the poll of the day, last mass civics tgt, screaming in the lifts, cheering all the way back 4rm nyp, cheering wheneva we can wif no regards 2 our faces, zhong ji mi ma, truth or truth, truth or dare, dare or dare, lotsa long john thx 2 suriani, speak ez sessions, 1124, unique warming up, greetings 4rm the gals 2 the poor guys jogging ard the track, 09 gals cheering the 09 guys up during soccer match, running extra rounds coz we juz feel lyk it, 09 couples, 09 scandals....

i guess the list is neva exhaustive.
sigh... the match sweden vs net is going on now.
damn late liaoz. reaching 3.
insomnia again... sianz.
hope i'll get a great slp tmr

[my brain isn't working]

went 2 study wif prick n tze in prick's church
prick was stunned 2 c me.
hahahaas. coz i was dressed up nicer den wat i normally wear
fer a study session.
it's a pleasant surprise isn't it prick?
wahaha. she kept repeating: "u're so pretty!"
bahahaha. i'm so bhb manz.. but mayb she's rite!
managed 2 study more den i eva did.
which is lyk realie lil?
prepared 2 fail every single subject manz...

went hg mall after tt.
ate dinner in deli while tze watch n pinch my potato gratin.
it's nice! can gif it a try ppl!
delifrance potato gratin! cheezy n potato-ish! haha.
spotted her deli cute guy tt she oogles @ all the time
nt bad looking! mayb i shall oogle wif her nex time

saw smth farnie on the email..
shall post it here den.

+Never Trust an Old Lady+

An old lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Old Lady: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Old Lady: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Old Lady: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Old Lady: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see ... Can I see your vehicle registration papers, please?
Old Lady: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Old Lady: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Old Lady: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer: You what?
Old Lady: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to
see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls
for back up.Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car.A senior officer
slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Old Lady: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and
murdered the owner.
Old Lady: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Old Lady: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite
stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving
license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it
to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a
license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the
owner.

Old Lady: Bet the lying bastard told you I was speeding, too.

funny rite? hahahaas. here's another one:

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take

it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on

someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten

to make. I found the number and dialed it.

A man answered, saying, "Hello."

I politely said, "This is Andrew. Could I please speak with Robin

Carter?"

Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that

anyone could be so rude.

I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. I had transposed

the last two digits of her phone number. After hanging up with her, I

decided to call the 'wrong' number again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled, "You're an ass hole!"

and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'ass hole' next to it, and put it

in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a

really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an ass hole!" It always

cheered me up.

When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic 'ass hole'

calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is

John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're

familiar with the Caller ID program?"

He yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down.

I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an ass hole!"



One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for

the spot.

The idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window

..so, I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first ass hole, (I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW ass hole, too.

I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" "Yes, it is."

"Can you tell me where I can see it?"

"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house, and the car's parked right out in front"

"What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Don Hansen," he said.

"When's a good time to catch you, Don?" "I'm home every evening after

five."

"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

"Yes?"

"Don, you're an ass hole." Then I hung up, and added his number to my

speed dial, too.

Now, when I had a problem, I had two ass holes to call. But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be.



So, I came up with an idea. I called Ass hole #1. "Hello."

"You're an ass hole!" (But I didn't hang up.)

"Are you still there?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said.

"Stop calling me," he screamed.

"Make me," I said.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"My name is Don Hansen."

"Yeah? Where do you live?"

"Ass hole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house, with my

black beamer parked in front."

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start

saying your prayers."

I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, ass hole."

Then I called Ass hole #2.

"Hello?" he said.

"Hello, ass hole," I said.

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."

"You'll what?" I said.

"I'll kick your ass," he exclaimed.



I answered, "Well, ass hole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right

now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover.



Then I called Channel 13 News about the gang war going down on West 34th

Street. I quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th street.

There I saw two ass holes beating the crap out of each other in front of

six squad cars, a police helicopter, and news crew.



NOW, I feel better


tt is sooo farnie! hahahhaa.
i think i almoz luff off the chair.
yveie says she's coming back 2 spore fer a mth!!!!!
oh man! i can't wait 2 c her again!!!!!
it has been sooo long. 3/4 yrs??
been enjoying urself too much in hk arh?
but she's coming back n it calls fer a celebration!!!
hahaha. i'm in a terribly gd mood now.
thx 2 her!!!!!! realie miss u gal!!!

[quiz]

How to make a sally ang

Ingredients: 1 part intelligence 1 part crazyiness 5 parts energy

Method: Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Add a little cocktail umbrella and a dash of curiosity

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

gt tt link 4rm prick's blog. kinda interesting.
how true arh? i haf intelligence!! hahahahahahah.
i thot tt wld b forgotten.
but energy? nah... no more energy.
was msging van laz nite n realised how much we both missed sn life.
n van keeps thinking tt she's gonna die soon.
NO U WUN!!!! touch wood larhx!
dreams cannot b true...
juz rem tt i'll alwaes b dere fer u!
we can tok fer 3hrs again anytime u want. :D

[tomorrow is another day]

went jogging wif my bro in the morn
shld b considered a 1st time?
hehx. haf been too lazy these days.
shall try jogging again tmr if i haf the drive.
it's kinda boring to jog. my bro is quite a bore.. :D

nt much progress in my revision.
still slacking away my time... d.a.m.n.
finished watching 4episodes of a serial, 2 movies.
think i haf too much freedom now.
if my mum is ard, i moz prob wun b doing such thing.
haiz, too bad i lack the discipline 2 start things.

juz hope tt +tomorrow is another day+
a new day i mean.
diff 4rm today, n the day after tmr, n the nex
will b so boring if everyday's the same
mono n so lack of wat u call tt.. haas. dunno.

my mum has been advising me 2 rebond my hair.
is my hair tt bad seriously?
juz tt it's super thick, slightly wavy, a lil damaged etc etc.
haas. ya... mayb i realie shld rebond it afterall...
it'll look betta den my current lion's mane.
ppl gimme ur opinions? i dun wanna regret it.
coz it's more of a irreversible side n a waste of money.
hees, reminds me of my chem.
dynamic equilibrium- the state of balance in a reversible reaction/process such tt the rates of the forward n reverse processes r equal.
yay!! finally smthing tt i can remember.

okies. lyk wadeva.
ya. shld sign off soon.
will re-watch the serials again!
oh no... mayb i shldn't.
wth, i'm so indecisive.

oh ya, remembered smth during the genting trip tt kept me so 'troubled' these days.
wanted 2 ride on diz rollercoaster thing called euro xpress wif daisy.
the ride sux larh, a waste of money but nvm, it's nt the main pt.
ya, so wanting 2 haf the ride
we went 2 buy the tix 4rm the ticketing counter

me: excuse me, i want 2 tix
lady: 2 tix? 1 adult 1 child?
me: nonono, 2 adults.
lady: oh ok, cost 16ringgit altgt
me n daisy: 16? shldn't it be 12 onli? 6 fer each adult tic wat.
lady: didn't u ppl want 2 adults n 1 child?
me: oh no, we onli want 2 adult tix.
lady: how old r u? [refering 2 me]
daisy: she's 17.
lady: oh..ic. den it's 12ringgit den.

ARRRGH!!!!!! WTH!!!
do i realie look tt small? lyk a 12yrs old?
waliao.......... i can't possibly b tt young wat.
but mayb i shld b happy too.
nt many ppl can look YOUNG.
but i'm nt happy!!!!!! luckily it's nt the 1st time it happened. i cld haf gotten pissed off wif the lady.
worse experience when i go back 2 visit sn
the uncle mistook me as a p5 kid going back 2 take results.
nt once but twice/b> by the same uncle
u noe the one who opens the gate sitting under the brolly?
ya.. tt's him. wonder if he has smth wrong wif his eyes or tt his memory is failing him.
sigh... ppl now mistake me as my bro's younger sis
when i used 2 lyk such a big sis 2 him.
moreover ppl used 2 think tt i'm sec 3 when i was actually juz p5.
wat a big diff... BAH.

[back]

yupz. i'm back.
good news!
we gt GRAND CHAMP!
but it's along wif diz other msia grp. darn.
gd enuf oredi though.
i thot we sucked.
so in overall, we won the gold award, champ in category B n the overall champ!
finally the sch shld notice us liaoz arh?

fell sick over the trip though.
puke some orangey stuff out which daisy said is the orange juice i drank fer dinner.
hmm. am still sick now.
it sux. haven started revision coz i can't! urgh.
n it's mon. i've got only a few more days left.
i'm dead

[GENTING!!!]

i hate diz laptop.
i had typed one whole page of words n it juz suddenly restart on me. wth

Going 2 leave fer Genting tmr
gotta reach sch by 6am, which means i hafta wake up @ 5 n take a cab.
did i eva mention tt i hate packing?
ended up having such a big n heavy bag fer juz a 5 days trip.

my dad only gt me 220+ ringgit.
din wanna gif me more.
dammit. shldn't haf let him c e letta 2 parents.
coz it's indicated dere 240 is enuf.
my dad is so obedient.
but nvm, he says i can change fer more money dere.
which i think moz prob i'll b doing so.

went fer the SYCO concert yesterday wif theng, emm, ying
fenni din manage 2 come though.
haven seen her fer a long long time..

ate @ lau pa sat after walking 4rm tanjong pagar
interesting journey dere.
yingx n i gt posessed n began laughing all the way
in all kind of laughters... shld b rather creepy fer the security guards dere...
hearing cackles in the middle of the streets.
hmm. gt lost in lau pa sat after buying my food.
hahaas. couldn't recognise directions larh.
den i spotted the wonderful mixed veg rice n finally found theng
had quite a bad experience eating laksa i muz say.
nt 2 mention a lil embarassing.
theng was looking @ me eating the laksa,
n when i bite into my 'taupok'
it squirted the laksa gravy into... guess wat, my NOSE!
EWW!!! den theng n ying burst into laughter while emm still doesn't noe wat was going on.
ppl, nex time eat taupok wif care

the concert was okie in overall larh.
their standard is gd i muz say
it was supposed 2 start @ 8 anw.
but we had 2 wait fer the oh-i-m-juz-so-impt VIPs 2 arrive
den the VIP started giving out a speech!
HELLO?... we're here fer a concert mind u!
was damn irritated
nt juz tt, after the speech, dey started giving out prizes 2 the guests.
lyk WTH. it's nt even their concert anw.

after the interval, diz guy came 2 sit bside me.
was quite irritated wif him n his frens. think dey're lower sec students. irritants
n moz prob neighbourhood schs too.
made so much noise during the whole concert.
had wanted 2 b a bitch den 2 ask him 2 scram.
coz tt seat is OURS too. it belongs 2 fenni.
but emm asked me 2 control...
regretted it manz... i shld haf been a bitch.
been pms-ing too much i guess.

SYCO played 'chun tian zhu qu'. which was our NJCO concert piece too. one of dem
4rm dere u can c the diff...
the standard of SYCO is lyk higher larh obviously.
wif a [nt qualified] conductor lyk zhu yin i can't pic hw gd we can get.

saw quite a few unexpected ppl in SYCO.
- diz yangqin guy whom i knew but fergot the name. used 2 b my junior in kb...
- chs percussionist of mixed parentage n joint eyebrows named gabriel. hahaas
- totally disgusting n always spotted wif long finger nails guy named zhu wei kang.

haiz... singapore is juz so small...

SCH brings back memories manz...
SYF 2003
thinking back, i m rather regretful larh.
was such a slacker laz time
keep ponning cca n such.
if only we had prac harder. the results mite haf been diff.
but too late...

meanwhile, plz come fer the NJCO concert k????
it's on the 24 JULY, SAT
Singapore Concert Hall 730pm
tix @ 8/10 bucks each.
buy buy buy kkk???
muz support me! hahaas
msg me if u want e tix! i hafta sell 6 leh...
help larh... thx!!!!

[time]

so lil time, so much 2 do.
realised tt i've nt started revision @ all.
how nice...
n i'll b off 2 genting in 6 days time.

think i'll b damn bored dere.
gotta go fer CO classes!
haas. i'll get 2 learn abit of guzheng n my own pipa
din take up the conducting course though.
took it laz time n it was damn boring
left b4 the teacher did a live demo

urgh... it's 7hr bus ride.
i'm going 2 puke on the way.
it alwaes happens. coz it did when i went wif the sn gang.

off 2 buy motion sickness pills den...

[D.A.M.N.]

my life sux realie

[irritating]

my net is juz so infuriating!!!!
keep havin so much prob.
cannot go online fer more den lyk 5mins?
damn. i muz type faster. if not the net will b screwed again.
okie. think time is almoz up.
betta publish first.

[damn co prac]

in the sch lib now.
juz came 4rm wanhua's hse.
now both my hands smell of stingray while hers smell of butter n chilli
waiting fer the idiotic mr tek
co prac following after diz
luckily i can play the songs oredi :D
managed 2 learn the songs in 2mths prac! yay!
call me pro! wahahaha.